01 June 2014

Sunday Thoughts

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When I got here six months ago, I was so eager to just get out.  
I wanted to find a job where I could make all the money, focus strictly on how and when I was going to finally have a plan,
and jet off to wherever said plan would take me as soon as I could.
I hated Florida. I wanted nothing to do with being here.
 
Having to be somewhere that you did not voluntarily choose to be is rough.
Typically, when you are in the gap between graduating undergrad and figuring out your life,
you move home.
Home; to where all of your old friends gather,
where you can meet at the bar and talk about how you have no idea what you're doing with your future.
 
My parents moved to Florida while I was in university.
So moving home meant
moving to a place where I hadn't spent longer than a week at.
 
That's where I was last November.
I had just finished up a temporary position in Massachusetts.
I had turned down a full-time position
that could have easily been my first step into the real-world.
I was returning from the biggest month of my life to date,
October in London,
which if you've read previously - did not go quite as planned.
So after this - I moved 'home',
a foreign place that I was somehow supposed to considered a comfort.
 
I've dealt with challenges,
I've been in places I didn't want to be,
but overall, whether I liked it or not, it was my own choice do that.
This was a new situation - something I hadn't done before.
And it was something I didn't want to do.
 
Stubborn? Maybe. Dramatic? Probably.
I went through about 4 different jobs within two months,
I fought with my parents, I questioned where my life was actually going.
 
Once my plans to move back to London finally surfaced in January,
and things began to move towards a positive direction,
things started to look up.
 
I began to look at my life,
and taking the situation as a challenge.
I can find a way to enjoy anywhere, so why can't I like it here?
 
I started looking at what I did have, rather than what I didn't.
I get to wake up every morning to an incredible view of the beach,
I have a great job
where I get to watch two of the smartest, funniest, most entertaining little girls
I think I've ever met.
I don't have many friends here, but I do know a few,
who are always up to take me out and show me what's special about this place.
And while no one likes to live with their parents,
for the time being, I've got two pretty cool roommates,
who help and support me in my absolutely insane mindset
that I belong on the other side of the world.
 
Once I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture,
I realized that life really isn't as bad as it may have seemed.
 
And since then,
I've finally been able to find happiness here.
 
I've been more inclined to spend my time outside, exploring what's around me,
I've found an unknown love for the water
(I still don't know how it's possible, but I ALWAYS want to be in it),
and while I thought I was a cold-weather loving girl,
Florida has been converting me into loving this feel-good warm weather.
 
I've got so many amazingly great things to look forward to,
things I have been working my ass off to get to.
My dreams are finally coming true, and my life in the real-world is about to begin
in just a few short months.
But instead of spending all of my time looking forward to the future,
I want to focus on today, and enjoy what's around me.
 
So while I don't plan to be here forever,
I'm pretty happy that I get to be for a little while longer.

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22 comments:

  1. …That’s definitely how I feel…I mean, I hate the mere idea of me staying in Greensboro, N.C. for the rest of my life (and I refuse to do so), but that’s not to say things are all bad here: I have a familiarity with the place (it’s my hometown), and some of the people I love most are here…Idk, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s nice to have some place to go to in between all my wanderings, :-)…

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    1. I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, and all through my life there I was hurrying to grow up and get out. Now that I’ve been out for 4+ years, I’ve noticed how truly great of a place it is and how much I do love it there. So while I am overly happy to be able to jump around state to state, country to country, like you said – I’m so glad to have a place that, no matter what, I can always find comfort in and call my home!

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  2. That must’ve been so weird that your parents moved while you were in college! I’m glad you’re starting to like Florida, though. I had (and still have, I guess!) a pretty love-hate relationship with it too, even though I spent four years there completely voluntarily. I hated how hot it was all the time, and Miami is just not my kind of city, so I was pretty meh about the place (though I absolutely love my school to death). But now that I’m out, I can appreciate how nice it was to not deal with snow and ice, and how my biggest outfit concern every day was which pair of shorts to wear. :P

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    1. It was definitely something to adjust to when they moved – they went from being an hour away, to being a two day drive to get to them! But with the situation in hand, I was so happy for them, and they absolutely LOVE it here, so it’s good!

      I’ve only been to Miami so many times, and it never really seemed like my type of scene either, but I know places can grow on you – I went to University in Cincinnati and I haaated it there, but by the time I was a senior, I really saw how cool the city was. I’m glad that eventually you got to appreciate Miami just like I did with Cincinnati!

      And yep – not even having to worry about pants is definitely a luxury! : )

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  3. I did the moving away from home while in College and it doesn’t last, but now that I’ve graduated and met my Husband and got married.. we moved 8 hours away, but still stayed in Texas. It’s hard not having friends and family around, but it’s made me become more independent and find passion for things I never know I would like before. I admire that you could do this on your own. I have never been out of the US, but I have been all over the US.

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    1. I feel like everything, from college, to my parents moving, to studying abroad, etc., has all only enhance my independence and ability to be okay on my own.
      I admire YOU for making a life for yourself being so far away from your comfort zone!

      PS: I just love your family! Ranch life looks like such fun, and I love the name Teale! So unique and she is absolutely ADORABLE!

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  4. I feel like I may never feel comfortable at home regardless of where I live. Maybe I like too many things or maybe I just haven’t found that perfect place yet, but I always feel like there’s something missing. But I have made a point to really get to know our new town and it’s definitely changed the way I look at the things I thought I wanted :)

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    1. I’m glad that you’ve made the effort to explore where you are! I always feared that I would never find a place where I’d be truly happy settling down, and my go-go-go mindset would never die, but I’m finding more and more that it’s not as hard you’d think to find comfort and happiness in other places.

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  5. I’m so glad you turned started thinking positively about your surroundings. I think it’s a temporary time and it will pass. :) And I’m sure you will make more friends eventually! BTW, a view of the beach, are you kidding me!? YES PLEASE. LOL.

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    1. Thank you : ) And – I know! I never appreciated being close to water like I do now!!

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  6. I feel that way too. I just want to get out and move ti the next part of my life, but I am realizing that I really do enjoy where i grew up!

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    1. I’ve been in such a go-go-go mindset that I never knew how much I love where I grew up, but now I’ve definitely realized how great of a place it is!

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  7. I have been there, done that! After my first year in London I moved back to the US to live with my parents in Michigan (hadn’t lived with them in 8 years at that point) and I was so depressed and counted every minute until I was able to come back to London. It’s great you are keeping a positive attitude and you have so much to look forward to! :)

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    1. Oh my gosh – I am you! Although it’s been 4 years since I’ve lived at home – I had ALL of the those same feelings you did – it’s never a good time for anyone who goes through stuff like that, but I’m glad we’re both out of that and on with our lives!

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  8. I would love to be in a warm state like Florida. I grew up in California, lived in Idaho for 3 years, got a little bit of warmth again in Texas for about 5 months and then moved to Washington. I miss it being warm year round!

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    1. Ah, you were all over the west! I’ve only been over to Colorado, but have always wanted to visit more over there. I hear Washington is such a cool place, and I also (typically) want to see LA! Its a shame the US is so inconveniently huge -_-

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  9. So happy you are enjoying exactly where you are right now!

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    1. Thank you :) It’s definitely nice not to feel the way I did before!

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  10. First off, I’m a new reader and in the other post, you told me to stick with you so I am :) I’m pretty excited about following along :) And that quote in this post is seriously SO TRUE! I’ve been so convicted on rushing things that I just totally forget to soak in the current moment. Nice to have little reminders like this!

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    1. THANK YOU – I’m excited for whats to come! Changes coming soon, so it makes me feel a lot better that people are going to stick around with me!
      I’m a total rusher too – always looking ahead. While I’m sure we’re both still guilty of it sometimes, it’s good we focus on being in the present! :)

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